What’s Going On at the U.S.-Mexico Border? 

The border. It's the velvet rope around Club America, and right now, the line to get in the club is a total shit show. NEWSMAN: 

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\This morning, our closest look yet at what's become the nation's newest border flash point. It's a place where thousands of desperate Haitians wait and hope their journey doesn't end here. Who stays? Who goes? And how much longer can they wait? NEWSWOMAN: Thousands of migrants living in makeshift huts, sleeping in the dirt, waiting their turn to get processed by U.S. immigration authorities. 

 Haitian migrants scrambling to find their place in line. (indistinct arguing) And arguments break out on the tarmac as U.S. deportation flights ramp up in an effort to clear out the camp in Del Rio in the next nine to ten days. Just outside the bridge camp, there are state troopers lined up as far as the eye can see in either direction here. The point is to build a wall of vehicles to prevent anyone from slipping into the U.S. Oh, man. Donald Trump must be so mad that Biden has a cooler border wall than he could ever come up with. He's probably sitting there like, "How is this possible? "He turned my wall into a Transformer. I didn't know you could do that." It's also gonna be really funny when one of those agents forgets their keys in the car. "Hey! That migrant's driving away with my border wall!" But yes, basically, what happened is that thousands of Haitian migrants all suddenly showed up at the border trying to get into the U.S. And I know right now a lot of people are asking, "Haitians? Dude, I didn't know "America shared a border with Haiti. That doesn't make any sense." Well, it turns out when you hear the details, it's complicated, but it actually does make sense.

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 NEWSMAN: The mass migration of Haitians to the U.S. has been years in the making. Many moved to Central and South America after the 2010 earthquake in Haiti, but poor economic conditions and false information have them making the journey to the U.S. border. (translated): Three years ago, I left Haiti. I sold my lands to go to Chile. In Chile, we found out Biden said we could enter, so we entered. We are very concerned that Haitians who are taking this irregular migration path are receiving false information that the border is open or that temporary protected status is available. 

That is false information. Our borders are not open, and people should not make the dangerous journey. If you come to the United States illegally, you will be returned. Whew. This is really messed up. A lot of these people came to the U.S. because they heard that the border was just open. Which it's not. But, I mean, can you blame them for being confused? Like, America's immigration policies are super schizophrenic. You know? 'Cause Bush was like, "We need a path to citizenship for illegals." (chuckles) And then Obama was like, "Uh, we're a nation of immigrants, but, uh, I will deport your ass." And then Trump came in. He was like, "You know me. "My thing is the wall, that beautiful wall. Some say even Jericho didn't have walls as beauti..." And, honestly, Biden is just adding to the confusion, because how are migrants supposed to know that when Biden says stuff like this... A nation where we live by the values that embraces immigrants, refugees, asylum seekers does not slam the door on those fleeing persecution, violence and oppression. ...

what he really means is "I'm rolling back some of Trump's policies, "but the one that lets me deport asylum seekers during a pandemic, I'm keeping that one." So Biden isn't just letting everyone in. Many are being allowed to stay and apply for asylum, but thousands are being flown back to Haiti. So I get how this could be confusing. And, also, if any of those Haitians had been watching Fox News, well, that's probably another reason that they thought now was a really good time to come. If, uh, Joe Biden's elected president, I th-- I think the only thing that'll be open will be the jails and the borders. The Biden administration has act-- has actually been crystal clear, and their message is "Our borders are open and come on in." The Biden administration has an open border policy.

 The Democrats today support open borders. You know, if you're a terrorist, why don't you come to this country? You got 200 miles of open border. It's as if there's a Bat-Signal that has gone off in Del Rio, Texas. "Everyone come here because the border's wide open." W-Wait, wait, hold-hold up. A Bat-Signal is attracting all of these migrants? I mean, that would only make sense if all the migrants were Batmen. In which case, hell yeah! We should let all those guys in. Who wouldn't want America to have 10,000 more Batmen? Then we could finally stop all this penguin crime. And, you know, Fox News can blame Biden, but they're also part of spreading this false message. I mean, if people see this stuff on TV, they don't know Fox News is bullshit-- I'm sorry, "opinion." They just see news. But the border is not open. It's never been open. And because it's not open, thousands of Haitians are now meeting America's Border Patrol head-on.

 This morning, the White House is seeking more information on what it is calling horrific footage at the U.S.-Mexico border. 

NEWSMAN: 

A number of agents on horseback can be seen trying to keep migrants from crossing into the country, while threatening them with what appears to be horses' reins or ropes, including families, like this one holding a baby, when the agents get dangerously close. As they try to pass, the agent said this to them. 'Cause you use your women! Holy shit. Did you hear what that guy said? He's like a Facebook comment riding a horse. 

And, look,

 I get that your job is to secure the border, but I didn't know that hurling racist insults at people is part of the job. You know, that's like if part of a TSA agent's job was to roast people as they pass through security. "Excuse me, sir. I'm gonna need you to take off your shoes "and burn them in the trash, "'cause those things are ugly, man! Shit! "Why you walking around with those, man? "Oh, those are some nasty-ass shoes. Yeah, you good. "Come on, come on. Go on. You good, man. You good. "All right. Yeah, you got that out? Take your laptop out." Oh, and another thing. Can we stop involving horses in all the shit that we do as human beings? They don't want to be involved. Right? They have nothing against immigrants. But now they're in the newspapers, too.

 They've just been cursed with very rideable bodies. I feel like this has been a tough month for horses. First America stole their worm medicine, and now they're getting cancelled. It's not fair. Now, needless to say, these images have stirred up a lot of blowback, and this isn't the usual Republicans versus Democrats thing. No, no, no. This time, the Biden administration is getting flak from its own team. I'm pissed. I'm unhappy. And I'm not just unhappy with the cowboys who were running down Haitians and using their reins to whip them. I'm unhappy with the administration. We are following the Trump policy. What the hell are we doing here? What we witnessed takes us back hundreds of years. What we witnessed was worse than what we witnessed in slavery. Cowboys... with their reins, again, whipping Black people, Haitians into the water. Ooh! You know a Black woman is angry when she's willing to come out in the rain and risk her hair to tell you how she feels. And I understand her frustration with Biden. You know, because Democrats promised that they would handle the border with more humanity. But now it looks like a dude ranch run by Tucker Carlson. I will say, though, I will say, I disagree with Auntie Maxine saying this was worse than slavery. 

You know, I feel like that line, we should only ever save for things that are worse than slavery. And, like, don't get me wrong. I get where Auntie Maxine is coming from, right? You've got a white guy up on a horse. He's swinging his reins at a bunch of Black people. Those are some of the main ingredients of slavery. You know, you see, that stuff together in one place, and that's where your mind goes, but it's not worse than slavery. It can happen to you. Like, I remember going to a kid's birthday party where there was a pony ride, and I was like, "whoa! Is this slavery?" No, Trevor. It's Jimmy's birthday party. NOAH: Okay, but if you make me pick that cotton candy, I'm calling my mom. So, look, as much as people would like to solve this issue in a tweet or a TikTok video, the truth is, the ugly truth is, immigration is one of the most complicated issues to figure out. And it becomes exponentially more difficult when 15,000 people show up on your doorstep. 

I mean, I can barely handle it when five of my friends show up unannounced. And America may not be able to fix its immigration policies overnight, but what it can try to do, the least it can try to do is remember that, yes, you are enforcing your border, but at the very least, you can treat the humans you're dealing with with the humanity we all deserve. \

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